What are these feelings?
by CLAMP-yuuko
Summary: Someone is hurt. Someone that has been hurt because of him many times before. Whos foult is this sadness?
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own any of the characters.**

What are these feelings?

Feelings of worry

You are so different from me. So annoying. So incredible irritating. I have never met a person like you…

The bento smelled heavenly. The egg rolls perfectly cut. The sushi lined up neatly beside each other.

"Watanuki-kun it looks so delicious!" Himawari-chan said with a huge smile spreading across her face.

"You say the nicest things, Himawari-chan" Watanuki said swooning.

"The soba looks old" Domeki said looking at the soba lying in a bowl in his hands.

"What the hell do you mean by old? I made that today you moron" Watanuki screamed at the archer who had already moved on to the sushi. "Who do you think you are? The almighty Watanuki gives you lunch and all you do is complain, and now you are stuffing my precious sushi down your throat like nothing after saying a comment like that" Domeki didn't seem to notice the screaming Watanuki and took up another piece of sushi. "Give that back you moron! Watanuki reached for the piece of sushi in Domekis hand, he reached it, unfortunate to late. The sushi was already inside his mouth and so was Watanukis hand. Domeki closed his mouth. "Eeeew!" Watanuki screamed, dragging his hand out of Domekis mouth. He shook his arm all over the place his mouth open in shock. "How dare you!"

"Watanuki is always so full of energy" Himawari said smiling.

"There are bite marks!" Watanuki said in a shocked voice. "He bit me!" He looked enraged at the calm Domeki, chewing his piece of sushi.

"The sushi is good though" Domeki said swallowing.

Watanuki could not bare it another second. He got hold of Domekis throat and started shaking him from side to side.

"Watanuki and Domeki are such good friends" Himawari said still smiling.

How can she be more wrong thought Watanuki holding his hands around Domekis throat.

It was so hot. Watanuki whipped away a sweat drop from his face. He was at his usual place, at Yuukos kitchen making her dinner. What did I do to deserve this? He wondered while waiting for the rice to boil. Who on earth deserve to be treated like this?

"Stop complaining and prepare the food faster, I am hungry" Yuuko said from behind Watanuki.

"How the hell are I'm supposed to make the rice boil faster?" Watanuki screamed in response while turning around.

"By the way Himawari-chan is asking for you" Yuuko turned around and started walking away from the kitchen. "She said it was urgent"

Watanuki hurried over to the door. There she stood. The cute Himawari-chan, her face in frowns of worry.

"What's wrong Himawari-chan" Watanuki said getting a bad feeling from seeing Himawari like this.

"It's Domeki-kun" Himawari-chan said, her eyes glistening with tears.

A bolt of fear streamed through Watanukis body. He felt his mind hurt with worry. He shivered, but it wasn't cold.

**Notes: This is my first xxxholic fanfic. I have only done Tsubasa fics before. Please take the time to review, it will be much appreciated. **


	2. Chapter 2

Times of worry

I don't know why, but I care for you. My feelings are bound to your happiness.

He lay so still. Not a word formed on his lips. His skin where pale, his mouth slightly open. His eyes where closed, and his hands lay lifeless on top of the bed sheets.

"Domeki" Watanuki said looking at his friend. His gritted his teeth together and looked at the nurse. "Will he be fine? How serious is it?"

"He is seriously hurt" The nurse looked at Watanuki with caring eyes. "We don't know if he will recover again"

Watanuki felt sadness fill his entire body. Tears sprung to his eyes, and he wept. Himawari-chan holding him. Together they wept for their friend, Watanuki and Himawari-chan. If this had been yesterday Watanuki would have fainted by the thought of having Himawari-chan hug him. But at that moment he didn't care the slightest.

"The weird thing is that he didn't have wounds nor does it appear to bee any medical reason for his state" The nurse said looking at Domeki. "We do not find anything wrong with him except for the fact that he is dying"

"How do you know that if you don't find anything wrong with him!" Watanuki didn't mean to sound angry, but his body was welling up with emotions that was hard to control.

"His heart beat is so slow. It's almost non-existent. It it's a miracle that he is alive now having that slow a heart rhythm. He must be a really strong person, this Domeki-kun" The nurse said. She was used to this kind of emotional explosions. She had seen it so many times before.

"Its hitsuzen" Yuuko said looking at the red eyed Watanuki standing in front of her. "Its fate"

"I don't care if its fate. What good can come out of Domeki dying?" Watanuki said looking angry at the witch in front of him.

"I didn't say that fate always is good" Yuuko said seating herself at the table. "Fate is something neither good nor evil. Few people notice fate. You are one of those few"

"Stop the riddles. Are there a way to save him" Watanuki said sick of hearing stuff he didn't understand anyway. The important thing was to save Domeki.

"Can you think what the reason for Watanukis state may be? Yuuko said smoking her pipe.

"No, the nurse said he looked perfectly fine. I don't know what stupid thing that moron might have done to…" Watanuki stopped. "Spirits?"

"Yes, a spirit. It attacked him. It attacked a person that could exorcise it. It would have to be awfully strong to manage that" Yuuko said blowing smoke out of her mouth.

"But spirits aren't attracted to him. It's me they are after, not Domeki" Watanuki looked at the chains of smoke filling the room.

"You gave him that spirit" Yuuko said putting her pipe down at the table.

"Me?" Watanuki looked confused. "When?"

"When the three of you ate the bento for lunch the other day" The witch said leaning closer towards Watanuki.

"But we have had lunch together many times, this haven't happened before" Watanuki looked at the witch with eyes of questions.

"He bit you didn't he?" Yuukos face close to Watanukis.

"I… I reached for the sushi inside his mouth, and he…" Watanuki held his hand up. The bite marks where faint but they where there, a light shade of red on his white hand. "Are this supposed to happen?" I am responsible for Domekis state, Watanuki thought, sorrow filling his heart. As many times before Domeki had become the victim because of him.

"When he bit you he swallowed a little amount of blood along with the sushi. To little for him to notice, but enough for it to travel around his veins, mixing itself with his own blood. Now he had also become the target of spirits. And so he attracted them. The weak spirits didn't contact him because they knew of his powers to exorcist. But when a strong one saw him, it couldn't resist and attacked him" Yuuko looked at Watanuki who looked down at his feet. Something shining in his eyes.

"So it's my fault" Watanuki looked up. "Is it my fault he is dying?"

Yuuko didn't answer. She wasn't the person who told you what you wanted to hear. She didn't tell you what you didn't want to hear either. She told you what was necessary, nothing more. To keep the balance.


	3. Chapter 3

Without you, I am nothing

If you walk away, I would be nothing. If you leave me, I would cry. So promise me to stay…

Watanuki looked at Domekis pale skin. His breathing was slow and weak. His eyes not moving underneath his eyelids. He doesn't dream, Watanuki thought. He is too weak… To hurt… Because of me… Watanuki couldn't suppress the tears any longer. They dripped down his face and landed on the red bed sheets that where neatly tucked around Domeki. The tears became stains, dark red stains, like blood.

"Can he be saved?" Watanuki asked the witch again with crying eyes. "All the times he has rescued me, all the times he have cared for me… I owe him my life"

"The outcome of that you want may not be good" The witch looked at Watanuki. His eyes where red and swollen but the tears had stopped. His face was full of determination and hope.

"I don't care. If he dies… I will never be happy again so there isn't really anything to lose" Watanuki stared at Domeki who lay lifeless on the red bed sheets stained with his tears.

Yuuko looked at the boy standing in front of her. He was so young and still had he suffered so much. He has been trough a lot. When his parents died, a big wound scared his soul. However, little by little that wound is healing. His soul isn't mended, but the change has started. There is few in this world who has suffered like him. Watanuki-kun is such a good child. He cares for other more than he cares for himself. He really is a good child, Yuuko thought for herself, her eyes meeting Watanukis.

"Domekis state right now would be impossible for him to endure if it hadn't been for your blood. His blood is what can exorcise spirits, just as it is your blood that attracts them" Yuuko looked at Domeki and blew a cloud of smoke from her pipe, slowly she turned towards Watanuki again. "The spirit is within him, destroying his soul. Normally Domekis blood would have exorcised it right away, but now he cant. The power of his blood does not exist at the moment, but it will return. Yuuko looked deep into Watanukis eyes. "When its to late"

"What do I have to do?" Watanuki looked at the witch smoking her pipe, the room filling with a white mist.

"The same thing as Domeki did" Yuuko lay her pipe on a table. "You have to drink the blood of someone who has the power to exorcise spirits"

"I have to drink Domeki-kuns blood then?" Watanuki looked at Domeki. If he didn't do anything soon he would die. If he dies I will be alone, Watanuki thought. If he dies, I would be alone again…

"No" Yuuko said walking towards Watanuki. "His blood has lost its ability to exorcise spirits"

"Whose blood do I have to drink then? I don't know anybody else who has that ability" Watanuki felt hope sink in his heart. Where there someone else who shared Domekis ability? And if there where would he be able to find that person?

"The same blood that flouts through Domekis veins, flouted once through his grandfather's veins too. His body may be lost but his blood is not" Yuuko said her nose almost touching Watanukis.

"Do you have his blood?" Watanuki asked. He couldn't make out why the witch had Domekis diseased grandfather's blood. Maybe she got it as a… Watanuki didn't finish his thought before the witch spoke again.

"I received it as payment" Yuukos breath sweeping softly over Watanukis face. "From the only one of Domekis family who has ever sat foot in my shop. Yes Watanuki, the blood that you need is the blood of Haruka. The blood from Domekis grandfather. If that blood flouts through you veins, then Domeki-kun can be saved"


	4. Chapter 4

Blood

I will do whatever I can to save you. While doing so I have to take responsibility. Responsibility for saving you.

"Why can't we give the blood directly to him?" Watanuki asked don't liking the thought of swallowing blood that much, but if he had to do it, there was no questioning whether to do it or not. He would do everything in his power to save the one he cared for the most.

"If we give him the blood directly it will be repelled. It will not have any effect. Harukas blood is the same as Domekis, and right now Domekis blood is infected by yours. Giving him it directly will be of no use." Yuuko looked at Watanuki. Her hair blowing slightly in a wind that came from nowhere. "But if you swallow it and let is mix with you blood it will be different. Your blood will then have the power to repel spirits, thus the one tormenting Domeki"

Watanuki didn't quite understand the words of the witch. Yuuko had a way of explaining something very good, but then again the one listing knows that something is hidden. She tells you everything there is to know, but still there is something missing, some unseen part that she keeps to herself.

Watanuki opened his mouth to ask a question that had been bothering him. However, before a sound left his lips, the witch lifted her hand, indicating for him not to speak.

"I will not tell you," Yuuko said. "That is not a thing you need to know… yet…" Yuuko turned towards Maru and Moro. "Go get what I need in the treasure room"

Watanuki didn't know how Yuuko knew things that he thought. It didn't scare him though. At first Watanuki thought of Yuuko like an evil and greedy salesperson and that was partly true, but as time had passed he had gained a huge respect from the witch. Although she is clearly selfish she does care for other people, Watanuki thought. If she had the choice to act from her own will and not through other people's wishes, I think she will have used her powers for the good of others.

Maru and Moro came running into the room, Moro holding a sealed bottle. She gave it to Yuuko and she held it between two slender fingers. She gave it to Watanuki. He wondered about the question that Yuuko had stopped him from uttering. The question he didn't need to know yet. What did Haruka wish for?

"You know what it is that you have to do" Yuuko said looking at Watanuki holding the bottle"

Watanuki opened the seal over the top of the bottle. The bottle was dusty, his fingers sweeping it away with each touch, revealing the color of red from inside. He lifted the bottle to his lips, closed his eyes and swallowed the red thick liquid. It felt strangely warm running down his throat. When the last drop had vanished into his mouth, Watanuki felt sick. He fell to his knees dropping the bottle on his way down. The bottle shattered into little pieces, small drops of red staining the floor.

**Thanks for all the reviews so far. I love to get reviews.**


	5. Chapter 5

Wondering

I am doing this for you, so you will not disappear. So I don't become lonely yet again.

The liquid burned inside his throat. It reached the hearth and in seconds, it spread itself to every part of him, burning, hurting. Then the pain ceased, and he could breathe again. He looked up at the witch from the floor, gazing into her all knowing eyes.

"Do you feel any different?" Yuuko asked looking at Watanuki, slowly walking over to Domeki.

"I feel…" Watanuki paused noticing that he did feel different. He didn't feel worse as would be expected after that excruciating pain he had felt moments ago. He felt lighter, his movements more smooth. He felt like he could have run a thousand miles without getting tired. At the same time, he felt more focused. Like he could see things clearer. Like seeing things for the first time, as if a curtain had been pulled back letting the sunshine through for the first time in ages. Somewhere inside himself, he knew that he had felt this feeling before. Sometime long ago.

"That is expected." Yuuko said holding Domekis hand. "For the first time in ages you are free, although it will only be for a short time."

"I…" Watanuki didn't finish the sentence before the witch spoke again.

"Hurry, his pulse is fading." Yuuko said letting go of Domekis hand.

"What must I do?" Watanuki hurried over to Domeki worried. Domeki looked so pale. He that usually looked so strong now looked so weak and fragile. He who never got sick or had any problems whatsoever. Watanuki always looked at Domeki as someone living in the perfect world without anything to worry about. Seeing him like this didn't suit that picture. He will be ok, Watanuki thought and tried to smile true is worries. He will be fine…

"Give him your blood" Yuuko reached inside her kimono and gave him a knife, the blade shining in the dim light.

Watanuki didn't hesitate the slightest. He took the knife in his hand and with steady hands; he made a long slash across his underarm. The blood started spilling and he held his hand over Domekis open mouth. The blood dripped down from his arm and landed neatly inside Domekis mouth, making its way slowly down his throat, drop by drop.

Domeki moved in the bed. His face cringed in pain, his breath became small gasps. He was struggling. To see Domeki like this brought pain to Watanuki. He wanted to help, but couldn't. He could only wait. Warm blood ran down his arm, and met the floor. He didn't care. The only thing that had any meaning right now was Domeki. Domeki made a final gasp, then his eyes flew open. It didn't take long before they found Watanuki. Watanuki looked back, his face worried.

"Why do you look like that you moron." Domeki said staring at his saviour.

"What the hell do you mean by that? Stop saying I am a moron! My name is Watanuki!" Watanuki raged looking furious at the archer laying in the bed.

"Shut up." Domeki said and noticed Yuuko hovering behind Watanuki.

"What the hell did you say?" Watanuki said waving his hands in the air. "I saved you, you ungrateful freak!"

"What happened?" Domeki said ignoring the yelling Watanuki.

"Watanuki saved you." Yuuko watched Domekis expression change slightly. Then walked away slowly, leaving Watanuki and Domeki in silence.

The silence bothered Watanuki. In any other day, he would have been happy that Domeki would keep his un useful mouth shut. But not today. The silence was like a rope tightening around his throat, making it hard to breathe. Finally, the silence was broken.

"Thank you." Domeki said lowering his gaze to his hands on the bed.

"No problem." Watanuki said looking down as well. Why was it so hard to talk to this moron today? Watanuki thought looking closely at his shoes. "I am glad you are ok." Watanuki regretted saying that the instant the words left his lips. It sounded way to well, what to call it? Well it sounded like he cared a lot. And that is just not right considering its Domeki! Watanuki felt angered by his own thoughts. But I do care. That's the problem. I care for that moron. But why? He is so annoying. But still, when I heard that he was hurt I was so sad, I felt so empty, so alone. I wonder…

Watanukis thoughts was interrupted by a swift movement from the bed. Strong arms clenched around his back, a head supporting itself on his shoulder. Watanuki closed his eyes and hugged him back. He didn't have to wonder anymore. He knew the days from now on would be different, better, filled with something else.

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far, I would love more of them, so please write! I don't know if this is the end of this story or not, you can decide if you want more chapitres or not. I will be happy to hear from you.**


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